Crazy Mormons Beliefs

Hello Funny One here. The US Elections are soon, Mitt Romney’s a Mormon. Do we know anything about the Mormons? They have some crazy beliefs. Here are some of them.

10. Mormons have to pay one-tenth of all their interest annually.

9. No coffee, no drugs, no tobacco.

8. Apparently everyone on Earth has a spirit in the pre-existence. When you die, your spirit is separated from your body. If you were good you would go to “spirit paradise.” If you were bad you would go to “spirit prison.” The spirit world exists as a place for spirits to go while awaiting the second coming.

7.  Almost everyone who knows anything about the Mormon religion knows they have a prophet. What many don’t know, is anything that the prophet says in official capacity is considered official canon.

6. The Mormons believe that Jesus visited America.

5.  Mormons believe that God, Jesus and resurrected beings have bodies of “flesh and bone.”

4. In the LDS religion any worthy male can be given the priesthood and is given specific duties. Black people were not allowed to have the priesthood until 1978. Females are not allowed to have the priesthood.

3. Mormons believe that there are three heavens: the Celestial Kingdom, Terrestrial Kingdom, and Telestial Kingdom. The Celestial is the highest, where God and the ones who followed his law reside. The Terrestrial is the middle, where people who followed the Law of Moses reside. The Telestial is the lowest, where the ones who followed carnal law reside.

2.  Mormons believe that you can be forgiven for any sin, save two. First, denying the Holy Spirit, and second, murder.  Also, God is infinitely forgiving, until the second coming. After that, you end up where you end up, no matter what. There are no second chances. Period.

1. Mormons believe that God created multiple worlds and each world has people living on it. They also believe that multiple gods exist but each has their own universe. We are only subject to our God and if we obtain the highest level of heaven we can become gods ourselves.

Crazy. Anyways, I’ll leave it here for now.

“The Raven”

Hello Funny One here. It’s halloween soon. What are some good halloween stories. You can’t go wrong with Edgar Allan Poe, he’s obviously has done some great short stories. “The Pit and the Pendulum” The story is about the torments endured by a prisoner of the spanish inquistion. the prisioner is bound to a wooden board by ropes. He looks up in horror to see a painted picture on the ceiling; hanging from the figure is a gigantic scythe-like pendulum swinging slowly back and forth. The pendulum is unstoppable, sliding downwards and will eventually kill him. Or there’s the “The Tell-Tale Heart“. a man commits a murder and hides the body under the floorboards.  Terrified by the violent beating of the heart, and convinced that the officers are aware of not only the heartbeat, but his guilt as well. He tells them to tear up the floorboards to reveal the body. Or there’s the poem “The Raven“. A man is remembering his the loss of his love, Lenore. A “rapping at chamber door” reveals nothing, but excites his soul to “burning”.  A similar rapping, slightly louder, is heard at his window. When he goes to investigate, a raven into his chamber. It perches on a bust of Pallas above the door. The raven’s only answer is “Nevermore”. He wonders if God is sending him a sign that he is to forget Lenore. The bird replies again in the negative, suggesting that he can never be free of his memories.  he asks the raven whether he will be reunited with Lenore in Heaven. When the raven responds with its typical “Nevermore”, he is enraged, and, calling it a liar and commands the raven to return to the “Plutonian shore”, but it does not move. The raven “still is sitting”on the bust of Pallas. His soul is trapped beneath the raven’s shadow and shall be lifted “Nevermore”. He has written many more stories and poems. There’s also a museum about him in Richmond, Virginia. Anyways I’ll leave it here for now.

http://www.poemuseum.org/index.php

pongologue

Hello Funny One here. Lassie felt up kids. Pal the male dog who played the bitch lassie in “Lassie come home” is at the center of sexual assault claims. For legal reasons we can’t use their names. An old woman claims he touched her up as a child, “he put his paw on me. It lingered there for too long. At the time I didn’t think anything of it but when I think back to it he was lusting after me. the way he looked at me with his tongue hanging out. It wasnt natural.” An old man also claims to be the victim of the sex fiend. “He sniffed and liked my wiener. He wanted to have sex with me.” An investigation is going on and many more people are coming forward to accuse the dog, they’ll also get the big compensation money.

Brad Pitt is advertising  the Chanel No5 perfume. In the advert he does a monologue. I don’t get it. Why a man advertising a womans perfume. From Marilyn Monroe, Nicole Kidman and Audrey Tautou to Brad Pitt. I thought Chanel would have made a better choice, no offence. I think that Angelina Jolie would have been a better choice. She’s glamorous and a talented actress.