Earth Humour

Hello Funny one here. Here’s part 10 of The Truth Is Out There.

#244, The Truth Is Out There Part 10

Agent Funny

Hello Funny One here. I did some more of my funny novel.  I’m still on chapter 4.  I don’t want to rush it. When I’ve finished I hope that I can get it published, hopefully in America. It’s not about sneaking into America. It is set in America though. Anyways I did another funny one cartoon.

#34 I’m On A Boat Part 23

It’s day 4 on the ship, I’m helping Johnny, the list of names have been sent to the FBI, we’ve had breakfast and the FBI have sent a reply e-mail. Tomorrow you’ll find out more about the crazy men. Well I’ll finish here for now.

Crazy Mormons Beliefs

Hello Funny One here. The US Elections are soon, Mitt Romney’s a Mormon. Do we know anything about the Mormons? They have some crazy beliefs. Here are some of them.

10. Mormons have to pay one-tenth of all their interest annually.

9. No coffee, no drugs, no tobacco.

8. Apparently everyone on Earth has a spirit in the pre-existence. When you die, your spirit is separated from your body. If you were good you would go to “spirit paradise.” If you were bad you would go to “spirit prison.” The spirit world exists as a place for spirits to go while awaiting the second coming.

7.  Almost everyone who knows anything about the Mormon religion knows they have a prophet. What many don’t know, is anything that the prophet says in official capacity is considered official canon.

6. The Mormons believe that Jesus visited America.

5.  Mormons believe that God, Jesus and resurrected beings have bodies of “flesh and bone.”

4. In the LDS religion any worthy male can be given the priesthood and is given specific duties. Black people were not allowed to have the priesthood until 1978. Females are not allowed to have the priesthood.

3. Mormons believe that there are three heavens: the Celestial Kingdom, Terrestrial Kingdom, and Telestial Kingdom. The Celestial is the highest, where God and the ones who followed his law reside. The Terrestrial is the middle, where people who followed the Law of Moses reside. The Telestial is the lowest, where the ones who followed carnal law reside.

2.  Mormons believe that you can be forgiven for any sin, save two. First, denying the Holy Spirit, and second, murder.  Also, God is infinitely forgiving, until the second coming. After that, you end up where you end up, no matter what. There are no second chances. Period.

1. Mormons believe that God created multiple worlds and each world has people living on it. They also believe that multiple gods exist but each has their own universe. We are only subject to our God and if we obtain the highest level of heaven we can become gods ourselves.

Crazy. Anyways, I’ll leave it here for now.

Movie Review – That’s My Boy

Hello It’s the Funny One here. Today I went to the cinema to see the movie “That’s My Boy”. It’s about a young boy, Donny who has sex with his teacher, she ends up getting pregnant then sent to jail. Adam Sandler plays Donny when he’s older and Andy Samberg plays his son, Han Solo. But as he grows up he changes his name to Todd. Normally I wouldn’t see a movie like this but Andy Samberg is in it. He’s so funny. I laughed at all his scenes. He has such great screen presence, you just want to look at him when he’s on-screen. He was obviously the best in the movie. Adam Sandler wasn’t too bad. I didn’t like Leighton Meester. She was bad in it, also I didn’t like her character, Jamie. She was a bitch to Todd.

The picture I’ve drawn is of a scene in the movie. Todd is in the shower and he’s wearing shorts. That’s when Donny walks in and wants a tickle fight. Han Solo has got a funny tattoo of new kids on the block on his back. The best scenes are all Andy’s ones. I would give this movie 3 stars. If Andy Samberg wasn’t in it I would give it no stars.

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New York is One in a Million

Hello, it’s the Funny One here. Today it’s the last state, New York. I have no idea what I’ll do now. The picture is of me dressed like the Statue of Liberty. Me and my sister went there last year. I got vertigo while climbing up it. You can buy tickets in advance on their website or in person at the box office near the ferry departure points. Here’s the website: http://www.statueoflibertytickets.com/ There are also Liberty Helicopters Sightseeing Tours. The Big Apple tour is 15 minutes or you can go on the NY tour which is 20 minutes. It costs $30.00 per person.

We saw the Empire State Building, We didn’t actually go in but we did walk past it and got some photos taken of it. It has two observatories, and an open air terrace on the 86th floor that contains an indoor viewing gallery for chillier days. Outside, they have high-powered binoculars so you’ll get a great view of the city. The other Observatory is on the 102nd floor. It’s the highest public point in New York City. Maybe one day I’ll get over my vertigo and go.

Like I said in my first blog, me and my sister went on the tour of the NBC building. It was amazing. The staff there were making jokes. It must be really fun to work there. I hope that one day I’m lucky enough to be on Saturday Night Live. I love it! We also saw the Radio City Music Hall. We didn’t go in but we went to a shop that’s opposite it (and, yes, we got photos!)They do have a tour of the building where you can see the theater, lounges and corridors of the most iconic theater in New York!; The Rockefeller Center, with soaring views of Top of the Rock to a backstage pass at NBC Studios, every tour at Rockefeller Center will bring you inside and behind-the-scenes of to some of the city’s most beloved treasures. Rock n Roll baby!

On our trip, we managed to visit the FDNY Fire Zone and saw some of the tools and equipment they use. They’re so big and heavy-looking! We also tried on some firefighter jackets, too. They also have a model fire truck there and we took pictures of us in it. Now, for all you souvenir-savvy travellers, they have a gift shop (check out the HOT calendars!!!!). I couldn’t go there without getting a souvenir (a notebook and pen, for writing down all my crazy ideas!)

We also saw Times Square. It really is amazing. There was also a huge ads for The Lonely Island album Turtleneck And Chain, when we went, which was very distracting. I kept seeing that picture almost everywhere on the top of the cabs. That album was released on the last day we were there so I was lucky enough to buy it before going to the airport. Unfortunately when I returned to Scotland there was a crack on the cover. Shit! I guess that’s what you call a cracking album!!!

There’s the Museum of Comic and Cartoon Art. Every genre of the is represented: comic strips, animation, caricature, graphic novels, humorous illustration, anime, illustration, comic books, cartoons, political illustration, sports cartoons, computer-generated art, editorial cartoons and gag cartoons. Cool! That would be interesting to visit.

The Guggenheim Museum, from October 5th to January 23rd there will be an exhibition which focuses in-depth on Pablo Picasso’s exploration of a black-and-white palette. There are 110 works, including paintings as well as some sculptures and several works on paper. And, yes, there’s a gift shop, too! They sell cool bright Urbanears Headphones. There is also the Wright restaurant where you can have Organic Scottish Salmon Tartare Avacado and Cucumbers, Salmon Caviar and a wine. Or there is Cafe 3 where you can get a beer and a sandwich. Both sound good to me.

Staying with food there’s the Slice of Brooklyn Bus Tours. The tour is 4 1/2 hours which covers pizza and Brooklyn. You’ll get award-winning Neapolitan-style pizza at Grimaldi’s under the Brooklyn Bridge, the legendary Sicilian-style pizza at L&B Spumoni Gardens in Bensonhurst. The tour includes seeing the locations from movies that were filmed in Brooklyn such as Scent of a Woman, Annie Hall and Goodfellas and many more movies.

The New York City Police Museum has a permanent multi-media exhibit that “keeps track of the extraordinary role that the NYPD played in response to September 11, 2001. There are on-camera interviews, striking photographs, and numerous Ground Zero artifacts.” The exhibit tells of the dramatic and remarkable story of New York’s Finest, through their own words from their experiences. There’s also the Hall of Heroes that honors the brave men and women who have served nobly,  placing their responsibility to the City before all other matters. Gift shop, too!

There’s the United Nations Headquarters, We didn’t go in but we did get some photos of it. There are FREE exhibits at the Visitors Lobby which feature photographic, art, and multimedia presentations by world-renowned photographers, artists and global institutions on varied topics such as climate change, human rights, malaria, children in armed conflict, plus lots more. It’s free to see these exhibits and the galleries can be viewed daily from 9:30 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. You can also get a guided tour of the building (remember, the visitors’ entrance closes at 4:45 p.m.) They’ve also got a Coffee Shop, UN Bookshop, UN Gift Shop and other shops. UN-believeable!

Who wants to know where some movie locations are? I do! Did you know that some of the movie Godfather was filmed in New York? Michael Corleone and his fiancée, Kay stayed at the St. Regis Hotel. http://exclusives.stregis.com/St-Regis-New-York-Hotel-81/so.htm?PS=PS_aa_NorthNY_NorthNY_-_Google_-_BD_new_york_st_regis_Exact_110810_NAD_FM The baptism scene in the Godfather was filmed in the Old Cathedral, also was the scene in Godfather Part 3 where Michael Corleone receives an honor from the church. It was also used in a scene from Martin Scorsese’s movie Mean Streets. It was the set in the cathedral’s walled graveyard. 128 Mott Street,  New York is where Vito Corleone’s attempted assassination took place. The hotel from the movie Home Alone 2 – Lost in New York is the Plaza hotel where I’ve always wanted to stay in there ever since I first saw the movie. One day I will. http://www.theplaza.com/

Sitting in Parked Cars in Nebraska

Hello, Funny One here. I wrote one funny article today and I just have to do one more, which I think I’ll do tomorrow. Ok, so today’s state is Nebraska. The picture is of me at the Carhenge. It replicates Stonehenge, and is made of a circle of cars, 3 standing trilithons within the circle, the heel stone, slaughter stone, and 2 station stones, and the Aubrey circle, which is named after Sir John Aubrey who first recognized the earthworks and great stones as a prehistoric temple in 1648.

Ok, I’m going to start off with trains. If you visit the Oregon Trail Wagon Train you will get to try a real campfire cookout. Cool! I wonder if they sing campfire songs? You will be taken back in time where you can experience what it was like to live back in the days of 1850. Enjoy the Old West! It sounds like fun. There’s also the Stolley Park Railway where you will have two trips around Stolley Park on Central Nebraska’s only life-size garden-scale railroad. There is also a candy store there, The Sweet Tooth Shop, which is available to park goers offering a wide range of delicious treats like popcorn, cookies and cotton candy. Mmmmm cotton candy. The Rock Island Depot Railroad Museum is two-storeys and is an historic stop that’s definitely going to impress. The Rock Island Railroad Depot is one of two remaining brick Rock Island Railroad Depots in Nebraska. It is also the largest depot that is still in existence between Chicago and Denver.

Do you want to know more about the history of Nebraska? Well, there are many places to visit, such as The Great Platte River Road Archway. From the year 1843 to 1869, nearly half a million men, women and children rode and walked the trails to the West Coast. The sky was overwhelming and the mountains and wildlife were like nothing they had ever seen before. These pioneers persevered with a strong will and a lot of determination, and they carried their cherished belongings in wagons or strapped to burros; and they also pushed or floated hand carts over mountains, rivers and valleys. All who took the trip were changed by it. Those early pioneers were shaped by what they saw and experienced, and they have provided America to be a heritage that is a living spirit that molds the nation’s character today. If you visit The Pioneer Village you will see a priceless steam carousel, 17 historic flying machines and you will marvel at 100 antique tractors. There’s also the world’s oldest Buick, a 1902 Cadillac and a 1903 Ford, both designed by Henry Ford, plus 350 other antique cars, all displayed in their order of development. The Nebraska History Museum is where you can see fascinating artefacts and hear some amazing stories from the rich history of Nebraska. The Museum of the Fur Trade is a museum that is dedicated to preserving the rich history of the North American fur trade. It’s located three miles east of Chadron and stands on the site of James Bordeaux’s trading post which was established for the American Fur Company in 1837.

Here are some other interesting places to go: The Nebraska Firefighters Museum. The hottest place in Nebraska! There is also El Museo Latino, which is one of only 11 Latino museums in the United States. Well, I’ll leave it there for now. Hasta luego.

There’s Nothing Wimpy about South Dakota!!!

Hello, Funny One here. I went to the cinema with my mom and sisters to see the movie “Diary Of A Wimpy Kid 3 – Dog Days” today. It’s so funny! I loved the scene where Rodrick gets the kiss of life from some bald guy! hahahaha You should go see it! It was really busy there. Someone made a shitty smell. I mean really shitty! Think of a really bad shitty smell and times it by ten, then double it! Plus, add a skunk fart and a hint of baby-bio then you’ve got it. Speaking of shit, I almost bought a huge poster of Justin Bieber. I know what you’re thinking. Why the hell would I buy a Justin Bieber poster? I was buying more Batman and Spiderman posters today and the Batman and Bieber ones got mixed up. They both had the number 3 on them. I only discovered it was the wrong poster when I noticed a check shirt on it. Anyways, I put it back and got the right one. Phew!

What can you do in South Dakota? You can see Mount Rushmore. On the 4th of July, there is a firework display from the top of the monument. That would be super cool to see!

You want to know more about the history of South Dakota, then you can visit these places: The Broken Boot Gold Mine, where informed guides will show you where the miners pursued gold ore veins with black powder and candlelight. Also there is the Four Mile Old West Town, Black Hills Caverns, Black Hills Mining Museum, and The Mitchell Prehistoric Indian Village, which is the only archaeological site in South Dakota that is open to the public. You should definitely go then. Visitors to the site will be able to see the many artifacts that have been excavated during the annual digs. You will even be able to have a tour to see the dig site itself in the comfort of the Thomsen Center Archeodome.

Do you like reptiles? If yes then visit the Reptile Gardens. You will see the five reptiles: snakes, crocodilians, lizards, turtles and tuatara. http://www.reptilegardens.com/

Kevin Costner has a bar there! I didn’t know that. It’s called the Midnight Star. Get drunk and look at his movie costumes.

What about teddy bears? If you do there’s the Teddy Bear Town,  and is home to the Guinness World Record’s “Largest Teddy Bear Collection.”  There are over 7,500 different Teddy Bears. Different colors and sizes. It is also listed in Ripley’s Believe It or Not.

There’s even a Corn Palace. It’s open all year round and it’s FREE to visit. I’ll have to go and visit then. It’s never completely bare, so you can always see a building that is the World’s Largest Bird Feeder! Also you can get a Corn Palace T-shirt, Caramel Apple Cobs and even some Corn on the Cob Soap. http://www.cornpalace.org/

What about the candy? There’s a candy store called “Old Fashioned Fudge”, and they have 30 different types of fudge. Mmmmmm fudge.

Ice Cream for Texas! Yeeha!

Hello, Funny One back again. Didn’t do much today. I thought I would just relax, but I did draw another picture and read up about Texas. What are the interesting things to do there? There’s the Space Center in Houston. There is a Level 9 tour where you can see where the astronauts “hang out.” Cool! The level 9 tour is from Monday to Friday and you get a FREE HOT LUNCH!!!! Awesome! Only 12 Level 9 admissions are available each day! I looked at the menu and it looks good. Mmmmmm signature cosmic pie. There is also the Space Center theater, a Blast off theater and more cool things. I would go right now if I could. The website is  http://www.spacecenter.org/.

I also discovered that in Texas they have the Houston Hotsauce Festival. I don’t think I could do that. The Mystery Cafe, that’s where you get dinner theater. It’s “where murder is always on the menu.” Sounds interesting.

They also have the rodeos. If I tried to do that I would be like in the picture and fall off the horse. Oh, but my favourite thing I read about today is the Ice Cream Festival. Mmmmm ice cream. There’s the ice cream making contest. I love making ice cream, so I could do that. They also have a Popsicle Sculpture Contest. Sounds cool! Oh, not forgetting, the ice cream eating contest. It costs $10 to enter it. I could do that. I wouldn’t care about winning, I would just want to get as much ice cream as I could. Mmmmmm ice cream.

For the people who live in Britain, I found out if you go on the McCain’s website you can get coupons. click on McCain products and it should come up.  You get 50p off their products. Not bad. the website is http://www.mccain.co.uk/. Mmmmm French fries.

Oh, I watched the movie Space Cowboys. It’s a good movie. Tommy Lee Jones was good in it. Anyways, I’ll leave it there for now.