Christmas Gift Ideas – Books

Hello Funny One here with some new books that are to go on sale this christmas. In the movie “The Campaign”, Will Ferrell’s character Cam Brady  wrote a story called “Rainbowland”.  It will be turned into  a real published book.  It’s about Unicorns that are made of fudge and cotton candy. It’s a big seller on Amazon.

Another book to be released is a book by Jim. Back Bacon, It has sex positions for fat people. Jim thought that fat people needed a sexy book. In the book are the teletubbies are showing the sex positions. The book has been approved by Bum Chum.

And the last book here is “How do you like them apples?” by Dolph Lundgren. What did he have to say about the book. “It’s a fitness guide. I think everyone should get healthy. Do more exercise and eat healthy. Don’t slip on a banana skin, buy this book now.” There’s also a recipe for peach cobbler in the book.

It’s The Maine Thing

Hello, Funny One here. I finally sent of my articles for the funny newspaper. Well, the Maine thing is that I sent it off! Today’s state is Maine. I went to see the Dark Knight Rises again. It’s so good, and it’s even better on the Imax!

Ok, what is there to do in Maine? What about museums? The Hudson Museum has three exhibition areas, the Merritt Gallery which is for temporary exhibitions; The World Cultures and Maine Indian have the permanent galleries; The Cole Land Transportation Museum is where they collect, preserve, and display (before they disappear forever) a cross-section of Maine’s land transportation equipment from which this and future generations will gain knowledge of the past; The Maine Military Historical Society is presently Maine’s ONLY museum that is dedicated solely to Maine’s military history; The Holocaust & Human Rights Center of Maine is another interesting place to visit. Their aim is to get to the bottom of intolerance.  “Hatred thrives and the danger is real.  Just by saying “never again” is not enough.  If to forget the past condemns us to repeat it, we make our own history by what we choose to remember – and keep our promise to the future by what we choose to do.”

What about fun tours? There are bird and nature tours at the Three Pines Bird sanctuary. There they protect birds such as Canada Warblers and Northern Waterthrush as well as Wood Thrush and American Woodcock; The Desert of Maine is where you will enjoy a 30 minute educational Glacier Desert Tour Ride; the Bar Harbor Whale Watching Tours is Maine’s largest boating tour company, featuring several distinct puffin and whale watching tours, lighthouse tours, and nature cruises; a lobster fishing and seal watching tour and a cruise to Baker Island.

Now I’m going to talk food. The Original Pancake House is the place where you can get some delicious pancakes like buttermilk, banana, coconut, blueberry and Hawaiian. Mmmm pancakes. Friendly’s Ice Cream Shop is where they have lots of yummy ice cream, plus you can also create your own sundae. I’d love to do that! But I’d want everything on it! Mmmm sundaes Check it out at: http://www.friendlys.com/ Perry’s Nut House is where they make and sell Maine’s favorite FUDGE, shelled nuts, toys, gifts & FUDGE! Mmmmm fudge. http://www.perrysnuthouse.com/index.php?route=common/home

Cherry Happy To Be A Material Girl

Hello, Funny One here. Today’s state is Michigan. It took me ages to think of something to draw. I hope it’s ok. I wonder if you can tell who it’s supposed to be? Anyways, I’m in the Cherry Hut. The restaurant is like being back in the 1950’s. http://www.cherryhutstore.com/ I’m going to stick with food just now. The Doug Murdick’s Fudge is where you can get delicious fudge in many flavors. The Marshall’s Fudge is another fab place where they sell yummy caramel apples covered in candy. Mmmm candy. I have to put the website up because the candy looks so delicious. Mmmm fudge.  http://www.marshallsfudge.com/  The Ryba’s® Fudge Shops. They have pumpkin fudge. I have to try that! Speaking of food, there are some interesting restaurants in Detroit.  If you love Mexican food, then try The Mexican Village Restaurant where you can get a cocktail called the Papaya Driver (which is basically Papaya juice with either tequila or vodka.) I like the sound of that, but I would have both tequila and vodka in it though! Their menu looks yummy too. But if you don’t like Mexican food you can go to Amici’s Pizza where you can enjoy yummy pizza with a cocktail. Mmmmm pizza and cocktail.

If you love submarines and anything to do with the Navy, then you’ll love these following places: The USS Silversides Submarine Museum includes a wide range of exhibits and displays that focus on the USS Silversides, World War II, the Pearl Harbor attack, submarines, the Cold War, marine technology, and Great Lakes shipping. The museum also features a 72-seat theater that currently features a documentary about U.S. involvement in World War II and the role of U.S. Navy Submarine Service. The Michigan Maritime Museum is also a fantastic place where you can experience the rich maritime heritage of the Great Lakes by visiting Michigan’s most well-known establishment of maritime research, preservation and education. The Great Lakes Shipwreck Historical Society was founded in 1978 by a group of divers, some teachers, and educators to begin exploration of historic shipwrecks in eastern Lake Superior, near Whitefish Point in Michigan’s scenic Upper Peninsula. Today this  non-profit organization operates two museum sites on historic properties:  The Great Lakes Shipwreck Museum, Whitefish Point Light Station, Whitefish Point; and the U.S. Weather Bureau Building, Soo Locks Park, Sault Sainte Marie, Michigan.

There’s Nothing Wimpy about South Dakota!!!

Hello, Funny One here. I went to the cinema with my mom and sisters to see the movie “Diary Of A Wimpy Kid 3 – Dog Days” today. It’s so funny! I loved the scene where Rodrick gets the kiss of life from some bald guy! hahahaha You should go see it! It was really busy there. Someone made a shitty smell. I mean really shitty! Think of a really bad shitty smell and times it by ten, then double it! Plus, add a skunk fart and a hint of baby-bio then you’ve got it. Speaking of shit, I almost bought a huge poster of Justin Bieber. I know what you’re thinking. Why the hell would I buy a Justin Bieber poster? I was buying more Batman and Spiderman posters today and the Batman and Bieber ones got mixed up. They both had the number 3 on them. I only discovered it was the wrong poster when I noticed a check shirt on it. Anyways, I put it back and got the right one. Phew!

What can you do in South Dakota? You can see Mount Rushmore. On the 4th of July, there is a firework display from the top of the monument. That would be super cool to see!

You want to know more about the history of South Dakota, then you can visit these places: The Broken Boot Gold Mine, where informed guides will show you where the miners pursued gold ore veins with black powder and candlelight. Also there is the Four Mile Old West Town, Black Hills Caverns, Black Hills Mining Museum, and The Mitchell Prehistoric Indian Village, which is the only archaeological site in South Dakota that is open to the public. You should definitely go then. Visitors to the site will be able to see the many artifacts that have been excavated during the annual digs. You will even be able to have a tour to see the dig site itself in the comfort of the Thomsen Center Archeodome.

Do you like reptiles? If yes then visit the Reptile Gardens. You will see the five reptiles: snakes, crocodilians, lizards, turtles and tuatara. http://www.reptilegardens.com/

Kevin Costner has a bar there! I didn’t know that. It’s called the Midnight Star. Get drunk and look at his movie costumes.

What about teddy bears? If you do there’s the Teddy Bear Town,  and is home to the Guinness World Record’s “Largest Teddy Bear Collection.”  There are over 7,500 different Teddy Bears. Different colors and sizes. It is also listed in Ripley’s Believe It or Not.

There’s even a Corn Palace. It’s open all year round and it’s FREE to visit. I’ll have to go and visit then. It’s never completely bare, so you can always see a building that is the World’s Largest Bird Feeder! Also you can get a Corn Palace T-shirt, Caramel Apple Cobs and even some Corn on the Cob Soap. http://www.cornpalace.org/

What about the candy? There’s a candy store called “Old Fashioned Fudge”, and they have 30 different types of fudge. Mmmmmm fudge.

Sellin’ some Grizzly Gold for a Jelly Belly

Hello, The Funny One here yet again. I just finished the funny pictures for the funny newspaper. Yeah! I just have to write something for them and that’s it. I’m sure it won’t take long. Hooray!

Ok, today’s state is Montana. In the pic, I’m at the Last Chance Tours which is home of the Last Chance Tour Trains and Trolley. It looks great! http://www.lctours.com/ There’s also the Last Chance Ranch. Ooooh, you can also have a wagon ride dinner. Mmmmmm wagon ride dinner. http://lastchanceranch.biz/

What about museums in Montana? There’s the World Museum of Mining. For the first time in the history of Butte, those who lost their lives in a mining, mill/smelter, concentrator, or railroad accident are now memorialized there at the World Museum of Mining. Four memorial walls have been constructed of polished black granite slabs, are sand-blasted with the names of over 2,500 men that lost their lives in the Silver Bow Mining District since 1865.

Another interesting place is The Mineral Museum, which, as you can kinda guess by the title, has lost of minerals. They wouldn’t notice if one went missing, would they? Another cool place to check out is The Historical Museum at Fort Missoula They have over 600 WWII posters available. Check out their website http://www.fortmissoulamuseum.org/ The Museum of the Rockies is home to one of the biggest and most important dinosaur collections in the world.

If you love wild animals then these places might be of interest: The Montana Grizzly Encounter is a Rescue & Education for Grizzly Bears center. It was Founded in 2004 and provides a spacious and natural home for rescued grizzlies. The Grizzly & Wolf Discovery Center ” is home to 8 wolves that live in two different packs and it’s also home to grizzly bears from as far away as Alaska and as close as Yellowstone National Park. In Gates Of The Mountains, you will see many birds and animals.”

Oh, there is also a Blue Jewel Mine. It operates from mid-April through the first freeze of the season. The Blue Jewel Mine is a great place to spend an afternoon mining for sapphires and gold. I wouldn’t say no to having some free sapphires!!

As I love candy, I couldn’t not mention where you can buy some – The Montana Candy Emporium!! They even sell Jelly Belly. Mmmmmm Jelly Belly.

Very Vermont!

Hello, Funny One here. I didn’t do much writing today, but it is the weekend though! I will get back to writing my funny stuff tomorrow.

Today’s state is Vermont. What things can you do in Vermont? Go Camping. I wouldn’t mind.

There is the “Bread And Puppet Theater”. It sounds cool! I have drawn some of the puppets in today’s picture. Two of them are drinking cider. What is there to do. There’s a tour around Ben And Jerry’s. I love ice cream so I’d love to do that. Mmmmmm ice cream. There is a Dutch Pancake Cafe which apparently sells so many different  combinations of sweet or savory pancakes. Mmmmmm pancakes.

Theres the ECHO Lake Aquarium And Science Center. They have many cool exhibits! Fairbanks Museum And Planetarium looks cool too. There are so many cool things I don’t have time to type them all down.

There’s a Vermont Country Store that sells lots of yummy candies. Salt Water Taffy, Fudge, Bunny Barley Pops, Gumdrops, Fruit-flavored Rods, Nougats and many more yummy candy. Mmmmm candy. There is a cool pizzeria and lounge called the “Piecasso”. Now I have to go there at least once. There’s the Lake Champlian Chocolates factory. Of course would go there as I love chocolate. Mmmmm chocolate.

Oh, and there’s an Old Hollow Cider Mill. Get some homemade fudge and some cider. Mmmmm homemade fudge and cider. There’s a Grafton Village Cheese Company. I love cheese. I better leave it there for now. Pumpkinhead is on TV, I’ll watch some of that. I love that movie!