PANDA-MONIUM!!!

Hello Funny One here. Scotland’s First Minister, Alex Salmond, is having some furry big problems. And, no, not with his hairy pits, but with the pandas from China that are now living in Edinburgh Zoo. Both countries made a deal hoping that the pandas would mate and would increase their population (plus, he’s secretly hoping to make some extra cash from tourists.) Well, what do you know? They refuse to mate. Salmond is now going to extreme measures to try to get them to do it.

Exhibit A:
Salmond decides a movie might help get things moving along and decides to let them watch one of the cheesiest romantic movies available, “The Vow.” By viewing humans getting it on should have get things hot and steamy for the pandas, making them want to mate. The pandas get bored and start to fight.

Exhibit B:
OK, so romantic movies don’t work. Well, how about something really dirty and filthy! Salmond picks up a copy of his favorite book, “Fifty Shades of Grey” and reads to the pandas. Wild animals will surely like this, with him talking dirty. They’ll be mating in no time. The only thing that happens is that it makes him want to jump on them more!

Exhibit C:
Maybe a romantic meal with a little candlelight might work. Salmond buys a candle with the word “Celebrate!” printed on the side to celebrate their mating, but he doesn’t realize the word on the candle is actually “Celibate”. Does this work? No. Why would a candle work?

Exhibit D:
OK, well maybe the pandas are more visual. Salmond thinks that by giving the female panda a make-over to look like Julia Roberts in “Pretty Woman“, the male panda won’t be able to resist her and jump on her, just like he secretly wants to. Alex Salmond is really obsessed with hookers and pandas. His biggest sex fantasy is to have a threesome with a hooker and a panda, however I’m sure he’ll love this better – a hooker panda.

Exhibit E
Now getting super-desperate at this stage, Salmond will do anything and I mean anything, and starts to strip naked for them. (It doesn’t help that he’s doing it to Justin Bieber’s latest CD playing in the background) He actually thinks that when they see the sight of his crotch, it will turn them on, and soon come thoughts to him that he might look too good and they might want to have sex with him instead! (In his dreams!)

Exhibit F
Now with the idea of him being the ultimate sex-god, deciding that the pandas want him instead of each other, he now wants a threesome. Plus, he really wants to know what it’s like to have sex with not just one but two pandas. And they’d get to know what it’s like sleeping with the ultimate “sex machine.” Yuck! No one would want him!

In conclusion, Alex Salmond proves here that no matter how desperate one may be, they can’t make pandas mate. Anyways I’ll finish here for now.

Funny One 2012

Hello Funny One here. I thought I would just review some of my pictures from this year. I know I haven’t been on that long, just a few months.

This picture is of me and Andy Samberg in Hawaii. I just thought it would look funny if Andy was being the creep and sneaking up on me.

Goofy with beach boobs. There are no words for that.

Me at a rodeo. That would happen to me. Hehehehehe!

This picture is of me and Andy Samberg again. Captain Underpants is from Ohio. I just thought this would look really funny.

This is of me in a bath filled of cola. that would be pretty awesome. Sticky, but awesome.

This is me on Venus. My most like picture. 7 likes. I guess I didn’t do too bad with this picture then.

This is me on Neptune. I like the idea of drawing a picture all in blue. I thought it didn’t look too bad. What do you think?

This is one of my funny one cartoons. I know it’s a mad idea but one of my favorites.

Another one of my favorites. wouldn’t it be cool if you could send yourself by e-mail. I would only end up in the junk mail though. Hehehehehe!

This is probably my favorite picture. I wanted to get the lighting just right. I think it’s not bad.

Mitt Romney shooting big bird. I drew that one really quickly and don’t think it’s that bad.

A good fuck for good luck. I love this picture. My family love it too. My sister, Miss Loca said it’s one her favorite’s.

I just like to draw Andy Samberg. I love the episode with the cat. So funny!

This is what Andy Samberg would loo like as a character from Diary Of A Wimpy Kid. Cool! He looks great!

I’m really happy with this picture of President Obama.

This is my favorite part of the funny one boat series.

This is of Andy Samberg in the movie Celeste And Jesse Forever. Andy was amazing in that movie.

I’m On A Boat Finale

Hello Funny One here. I’ve done another funny one cartoon. The last of the boat series. 37 parts to that series. I sneaked on a ship and hid in Johnny’s closet. He let me stay in his room. I even ate his dinner which was a pie. Mmmm pie. I borrowed his pajamas which were too big for me. I slept in the bed while he slept on the sofa. What a nice man he is. In the morning I went to the bathroom and saw him naked in the shower. As I left the bathroom a crazy man puts a gun in my face. He has my passport. There are more crazy men on the ship. They even take my bag away with them. Johnny says they’re up to something big and he’ll stop them. That evening he takes me out to dinner. A waiter gives him a secret note. He goes into some man’s room while I wait outside with a gadget. I’m supposed to press a button if I see the man coming along the corridor. He comes along and shoves me and I drop the gadget and it breaks. He goes into the room. Johnny is in there. The bald man is holding a gun up at Johnny and he is holding a Justin Bieber CD. Johnny opens the case and the Disc goes flying out and slits the bald mans throat and then it flies straight into a speaker where it gets stuck. While in the room I find my bag. There are maps and CD’s in there. Johnny think’s they’re going to frame me for the murders they are going to commit. Johnny gets a list of everyone on the ship to find out more about these crazy men. It takes forever typing in all the names. The targets for the CD killings are a movie premiere, the Empire State Building, the White House and the NBC Building. The crazy men are Joe Joe Cherenko, Billy Adams, Fred Green and Buddy Jones. We go of to find them. I even get to carry a gun. Fred threatens us with a Justin Bieber CD. It’s not one of the killing CD’s it’s just a Justin Bieber album. We both drop our guns. Fred tries to use Johnny’s gun. It’s a special sensory gun that only works if Johnny holds it. The crazy men turn up and hit us over the heads. We are both tied up in different rooms. Finally Johnny finds me. I’m handcuffed to a pipe. johnny can’t find a key so he uses an axe. The day when we arrive in America. Me and Johnny catch Joe Joe Chernenko and Fred Green. We then split up to find the last two. Johnny goes after Billy while I look for Buddy. Johnny Shoots Billy in the foot and then handcuffs him. I try to catch Buddy but he round house kicks me and ties me up.

#48 I’m On A Boat Part 37

Johnny finds me. He punches Buddy and handcuffs him to the pipe and frees me. Well I hope you liked the ending to the series. My favorite one to do was part 4.

I’m Still On The Boat

I think it’s the funniest one I’ve done and the best drawing, but that’s just me. What do you think of my cartoons? I would like to know what people think of them. Are they good or bad? Whatever you think, leave a comment on my page. Anyways, I’ll finish here for now.